Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I party with great urgency now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize