i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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