Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize