problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
