Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
