She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
