a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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