Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
