So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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