Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
