So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
