All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
