this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize