Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
