no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
