no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize