You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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