He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize