you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
