my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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