he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am available for nakedness
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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