All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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