What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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