Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
