so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
