we made out on top of his cat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
