and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
