so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
