we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
