saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
