why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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