there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
