And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
