all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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