Whatcha textin bout Willis?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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