Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
