I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
