Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
