so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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