But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
