I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The air was thick with penises
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize