So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize