ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
