don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
