My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
