im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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