the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
