I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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