I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
