dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
