8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize