You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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