I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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