I just gift wrapped bread.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
