people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
