i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
