there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
