I'm really into asian looking animals
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
