I'm jealous of your bromance
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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