i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
