Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
